Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
