if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
