I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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