I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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