fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
