I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
