Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
