They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
