I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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