i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
