Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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