So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
