I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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