just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
