I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
