I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
