i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
