i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So many bounce houses so little time
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize