Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
