If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize