Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
