Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
