he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
