Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize