she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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