Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize