So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
