finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
