she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
