I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have feelings that need drinking.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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