Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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