He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
