There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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