I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
