It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
