Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize