Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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