mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
