I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize