I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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