she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
