I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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