gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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