It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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