what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
