my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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