My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
