I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
