I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
