i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
