Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
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