Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
tell me about the fingering
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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