i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
