pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
