she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
