I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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