Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
