You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize