What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
