weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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