Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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