she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
