woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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