would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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