Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
