That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
