can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
