watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
