Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
